Scary Mary

Oh, China. Silly, Silly China.

Do yourself a favor and read at least the middle section of this sign.

Twitter

Keep any eye on my Twitter, on the right side of this page, for more consistent updates from my current Hawaii trip. Just finished a couple hundred mile bike trip around the big island, and am now settling down in … Continue reading →

What Does China Have Against the VERY THING I Went There For?

SCREW YOU, CHINA!  YOU KNOW WHAT?  I CLIMBED IN YOUR COUNTRY ANYWAY!  SO TAKE THAT!

BAMF: Bike from Another Mainland #354

The Beijing bike selection is less uniform than New Delhi?s.  While India?s bicycle models were as diverse as my rural Ohio high school?s ethnicities, China actually had more than one style of bike.  Here is one that I liked.

Happy Dragon Hostel

July 4!!! DICK #4: Classic Chinese

Happy July 4th. To celebrate, here ya go: Check out how stupid these pictures are that people take: Idiots 1    Idiots 2    Idiots 3                     actually, they aren’t even that stupid   … Continue reading →

How-To Guide Suggestions 101 Manual Instructions Class Lesson: How Not to Return to the USA from China (part 4 of?more)

Day 4 12:40am-2:00am: sit on floor of Gate 87, doing absolutely nothing, having missed my flight 2:00am: approach United Airlines customer service counter, get in line 2:10am: be approached by another airline agent, asking me to come to a different … Continue reading →

How-To Guide Suggestions 101 Manual Instructions Class Lesson: How Not to Return to the USA from China (part 3 of?more)

Day 2-Day 3-Day 4 9:30pm- Day 4 6:30pm PST (13 hours): plane ride from Beijing to Los Angeles.  middle seat.  uncomfortable.  sleep through beverage carts.  drool on neighbor. finally stop sweating for more than 15 minutes for the first time in 5 weeks. … Continue reading →

How-To Guide Suggestions 101 Manual Instructions Class Lesson: How Not to Return to the USA from China (part 2 of?more)

Day 2 6:00pm: finally get off the train in Beijing.  oh my.  that was 26 hours.  wow.  that’s a REALLY long time to not be off my back for more than 2 minutes TOTAL.  I gotta eat. sweat. 6:00pm-7:00pm: try to … Continue reading →

How-To Guide Suggestions 101 Manual Instructions Class Lesson: How Not to Return to the USA from China (part 1 of?more)

Remember my Brigham-like prophecies of delays, disasters, and demoralizing drool on the shoulders of strangers? Well, guess what–it came true. Grrrr. The following timeline is disgustingly true, and a perfect example of 1) why never to travel with me, 2) … Continue reading →

But Yankee Doodle, I Keep Forgetting to Shower!

Is it the hat or the feather that’s called “Macaroni”??? PS I just realized I (accidentally) haven’t showered since the day before I left China–exactly 8 days ago. Awesome. Good to be back in the USA. PPS it’s amazing to be … Continue reading →

Uh-Oh, Commies!: Tian?anmen Trouble (with video!)

[ed note: originally written May 18, 2011 from Beijing, China.  posting postponed due to Chinese internet regulations (against video websites) and my sudden popularity with Chinese cops] Today, Wednesday, May 18th, 2011, Tony and I were intimately and aggressively surrounded … Continue reading →

America: Hawaii Not Included

[ed note: originally written 6.16.11, 9:03am] By the time you read this, I may or may not be back in the United States.  Although my flight from Los Angeles to Salt Lake City is scheduled to arrive at 11:59pm on … Continue reading →

DICK #3: Scrapbook-Worthy Photos

DICK: Dummies In China and Korea #3 ….ok.

Foreign Habits of a Friend

Tony does this. …it’s just something he does.

Brodyleven.com Finally Surpasses Google in Popularity & Content, but not Cute Little Creative Logo Animations

Although those logo animations are darn cute, google.com has finally seen user traffic decrease due to fresh, innovative, and never-before-seen features such as the “search bar” implemented on the right side of brodyleven.com. Although not verified by any officials or senior correspondents, … Continue reading →

A Different Perspective: Photos from Agra, India

Where are this Guy?s Pants!? Observations from China, part 2 of 1

Yeah.  This country’s OK. Although it stretches as wide as the USA, China only has one time zone.  Because we are all equal. I went into a store with a creative sign reading “Chinese Puzzle Store.”  What a great gift, I … Continue reading →

22 People, 1 Van, 1 Cup